Day 50 of my journey

I feel pretty icky today.... Did Personal Best with my mom anyway... Felt a little better.... Today I went meatless and starchless today.... So my bowl was uber healthy!! Tasted delish too!! Personal best again tomorrow...or maybe some callanetics..... I really hope I feel better tomorrow morning....  My Healthkwest spot came on tv today...  Super excited about it!!!  I am putting the youtube link here....  Have a good night!!

Healthkwest spot on Channel 6

Vote for me here...  I am 4th from the bottom

Vote for me

Day 43... Regrets From The Past....

I am amazed when I look back thru pictures... 
About how big I let myself become..... 
I just cannot believe I let my weight get so out of control.... 
So...  I am going to tell you a story...  This is going to be a long one....
But I think I need to go in depth...finally....

When I was 9 my mom was in a horriffic car crash(she was pregnant with my bro at the time)and her best friend died in teh accident...
I think I was so overwhelmed and scared...  That I became an emotional eater....
Hence the battle of the bulge begins....
Anytime I got sad...or mad..  I shoveled the food in...
And as a little kid being ehavy wasn't that big of a deal....
Until I started public school..
And everything changed....
I went from having so many friends that they fought over me...
To having just one.....

I was teased almost every day of my life....
Which caused me to eat even more...
Kids are cruel....  Anyone who says they aren't...was never teased in school....
It got so bad that I transferred schools again....
I made a lot more friends at that school, but I was still teased constantly....

When I hit 7th grade I decided that I wanted to be skinny... 
So I literally starved myself...
I pretended to eat at the table at home and flushed my food....
I got so thin that I looked sick.....dark circles under my eyes....
And still.....  I didn't have any mroe friends beign skinny than I did being fat...
And I lost most of them because I adopted a pretty S***** attitude....
So...  I started eating again......

I started putting the weight back on my freshman year....all the way thru my senior year...
I was teased...tormented...pushed down stairs..
Pretty much stayed out of school functions for the most part. 
I was terrified people would single me out and tease me more...
I was right...  If I went to the pep rally's I got teased as well...
I wasn't antisocial....  Or at least I didn't want to be....
I just wanted someone....anyone...to cut me some slack....
It never happened.....  I have a lot of regrets....oh..the regrets...
Missing senior prom is one of the biggest ones....
I went on a total of ONE...yes one...date my entire highschool life...
He never asked me out again because he got made fun of for asking me out...
Completely jacked up.....
I cried myself to sleep every ngiht...and soemtimes had to go to the bathrooms at school and cry so they didn't see me...
If I cried in front of the people that hurt me... 
They won...and I coulodn't stomache that...
I missed out on so much....
If your kiddos are heavy...and they say everything is fine...
It's probably not....
They need more support than you know....

As an adult.....  I was shy for the longest time....
I put on more...and more weight.....
Depression sunk in and at my heaviest 2009 I was 625 pounds....
That was two years ago....
I honestly would not wish being fat on my worst enemy....
So here I am...  At 396....2 years later...
I can't get the past back...can't change the way things went...
But I can make my own future.....
And that's exactly what I intend to do....

Day 42... Trying something new....

     Well, I haven't posted in a few days...  Been celebrating my birthday for days now...lol 
Mom showed me the tae bo flex workout...  I think it will benefit me more to do this one right now....
ZUMBA is great...  I love it, but I think I need to get stronger and mroe flexible before I can fully benefit from doing it.  SO back to Billy Blanks....
 
     On several personal notes....  I realized that this will be my first birthday without my dad here.....
That makes me tremendously sad.....
Also....  I am ever grateful to Jennfier and Jason coming to dinner with me for my birthday...
If they hadn't shown up...  I would have been dining by myself..... 
Nicole called and confirmed a ngiht out at Denim and Diamonds where I saw plenty of friends...  That didn't even know about my invite...  I started off the ngiht being upset...and ended up having a good time anyway....
 
     I have to get some sleep...  So catch ya'll on teh flip side!!!

Day 36... I have hips!!

Today was a great day...!!
I walked later in the day....
Had my lunch early with my son at Genghis Grill...
I had a chicken, dragon salt, gran garlic, cabbage, broccoli, snap peas, squash with pepper and garlic water over udon noodles today...
I try to avoid the noodles...
 But they keep me full longer....!!
I am posting two pictures....
One of my bowl...and one of me...with an actual wasit!!!
I don't have a tree trunk one anymore!!
Very, very glad...
I can't tell you how great it feels to be complimented on how I am doing....
Or what a simple wonderful joy it is to be able to actually have  hips and a waist to rest my hands on....
I thank God for will and strength to keep on trucking with this second chnace I have been given!!
Thank you Genghis Grill!!!
Hugs to all(yeah it's a huggin kinda day!!)
Catch ya'll on the flip side

Day 34... Ready for more(excercise that is!!)

 

Today was a great day!! Worked... Had lunch at Genghis... Which consisted of chicken, cabbage, broccoli, snap peas, squash...with roasted tomato sauce over udon noodles.... Delicious!!! Mom took my son and I to Spelling Bee the play.. it was fantastic!!! Then we went to Ihop for coffee... Just got home actuall...y... That's why it's such a late post! I couldn't have had a better day!! Have a great Sunday everyone!!! 

Also I finally got my appointment with the doctor!!

Gonna see about getting that tumor removed....  Also scared to see the price tag is going to carry!!  Wish me luck folks!!

Day 33... Starting to see a thinner me...

I did Zumba this morning with my mom, and spent over an hour in my grandmothers backyard....cleaning up...raking....et...c... I am TIRED today! My mom said I look different.... I feel better... I've dropped 8 pounds... Flustered with not dropping more... Talked to my doctor... Since I've been doing the weights... I am packing on muscle too... Which weighs more than fat.... :(  Not cool for the weight loss in this competition.... But cool because I actually put on a pair of pants I haven't worn in a year....and they are baggy on me... Pretty happy about that.... I might not win this contest... But I am going to be thinner and healthier win this is all done.. I DO NOT plan on going back to my old ways. I WILL remain on track.... Have a great night all!!

Day 31

Day 31 down.... Have been lax in my blogs..... I made a chicken, dragon salt, cabbage, broccoli, snap pea, and squash bowl with Roasted tomato sauce.... Too late at night to eat starch.... So that REALLY cut out some calories... Was very surprised how many it took off.... Exercise today was walkin...g around the block a few times.... Missed Zumba with mom cuz the kiddo was home sick... :( Tomorrow back to it!! I did a close up of my bowl today because it was out of focus on the edges.... 

Having some issues....  This tumor of mine is actually getting bigger...  I realized it today...  And it actually hurts...  SO I am calling my doctor tomorrow...  Wish me luck!!

Have a good night everyone!! 

 

Doing 29... Doing Fine...

 My GG bowl today!!

Well today was a good day...
Did ZUMBA sculpt with mom this morning...  Talk about rough!!  Loved it though!!
We are going to switch it up a bit and try different things so we don't get bored....
Ate at Genghis Grill for lunch today....  It was awesome as usual....  I have a hard time changing it up...
I guess we stick with what we know...lol
Jennifer was my server out there, she is awesome!!

Today was spent rearranging and cleaning the house.  Put together a giant shelf last night...pretty much by myself.  Not fun, but it is done and up.
Now I realized...  I am going to have to move everything out of my room because I am painting it over spring break....  Oh well...lol
Catch ya on the flipside!!

Day 28... Better late than not at all

Well...  I have been really busy lately...lol
Also I have been feelin kinda off for a few days.  I was trying to make sure I posted every day... 
But I flubbed that up.
Had ghengis grill today at dinner.
Had to take it to go....
Helped a lot of people thru the line...  Explaining the different items.
Pretty cool.
My friend Kim and her kiddos were there and I walked them thru the line before I left.
Been doing zumba....  Walked Saturday and Sunday though.
Wish I could post more...  But I am super tired...
I plan on getting back to my every day posting again!

Day 25.... Still truckin!!

Great day....  Started off with Zumba with mom....
Lunch at Ghengis Grill...
Tomorrow GG is going to lunch with me!  WOOT WOOT!
Her first time at a restaurant in like 6 years.....
I am posting my VLOG from yesterday.
Just got done editing it....
Gotta jet!!
Heres the link!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTZA8SYmUUQ

Day 24.... Much Better!

I did callanetics this morning and it was great!
I cannot wait to see the results better...
Had lunch at Ghengis Grill...
Yummy as always!!!
I am working on a VLOG for today..  But..  It's late and I will be posting it tomorrow...  :)

I was down the last few days....  Until I found some old photos of myself....
I am def not down as much anymore....
I have come a long, long way.....

2008

2009 Christmas and bottom is halloweem

2010 christmas

I'll try to stay positive...  After looking back to the 2008 picture...  All I can say is geez.........
I never ever want to be back there again.....

Day 23.... Trying to Keep My Chin Up!!

2009

2011


I did Zumba with my mom this morning....
It's tiring, but fun.....!

Ghengis Grill for lunch today... 
Tried the udon noodles this time... 
Very good!  My friend Amy showed up for to go...  We sat and chatted for a bit...

Hung out with the guys tonight.....
Was having a good time until someone spoiled it...
It's weird how words and looks can sting...
I realize I am fat....
But I am not as fat as I used to be.
I have worked very, very hard to get where I am...
It's a blow to my self esteem when people make fun of me and stare.
If they knew the person that I am...
They wouldn't even think about doing that to me.
I'm a constant joker(just like my daddy was).
I try to smile as much as I can, even when stuff is bothering me(I got that from my mom).
And I love my family and friends dearly....
I'd do anything for them....
Anyone who actually knows me can attest to that.....

I shouldn't let it bother me...  But it does....
However, tomorrow is going to be a better day....
I'm just gonna let it roll off my back....
Maybe one of my friends will join me at Ghengis Grill tomorrow...
Hugs and much love!!
JoJo

p.s.  I posted the pictures up above to show what I looked in 2009 and now...
I refused for the most part to have my picture taken from the waist down because I was so embarrassed...